


Soft Regrets

by TeardropSlush



Category: Magic Kaito
Genre: Kaito is Dead, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, Merry Christmas, giftfic, scrapbook memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeardropSlush/pseuds/TeardropSlush
Summary: Saguru finally decides to clean Kaito's old house, but the lack of a house heater and a strange scrapbook distract him from his original goal.
Relationships: Hakuba Saguru/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	Soft Regrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JadeNightTheWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeNightTheWriter/gifts).



> This was for dcmksecret santa!! My gift reciever was jadenightthewriter! You said you wanted angst and i hope i properly delivered :D

Regret was something Hakuba Saguru has gotten to know quite intimately over the years, and he has found his larger ones connected to one person in particular. The thought had only crossed his mind as he ended up in older room, dusty and untouched for ages, to finally clean it up. Originally he came in with a determination, but because of how cold and dreary the room was, he soon lost said determination. Overtime, his hands numb from the cold, he began to clean less and look around more. While he was dusting a desk off, he noticed a scrapbook with no name or anything on it, it was plain in looks besides a doodle of a white dove. Unable to stop his curiosity -or maybe it was because he just lost the drive to clean- he grabbed it, coughing a bit because of how dusty it had gotten and opened it up. The frosty air and dust would not be good for his sinuses in the long run.

The first photos were mostly of heist targets of Kid's but there was one photo in particular that stood out to him the most, the one of Adam's Smile. Saguru still regrets it to this day, losing his first battle with his rival. Honestly, he didn't get very many bigger wins but his smaller ones were just as valid in his opinion. A win was a win. In his book, finding out Kid's identity was a win but Kaito never let him have that. 

The next set of photos were actually of the classroom, mainly of Aoko but Saguru did see one of himself with childish insults doodled onto the page, when were these even taken? It brought Saguru to be reminded of another regret- he never appreciated those daily antics in the classroom but it was no secret how it brought life to the classroom. Even on the mornings where he got a mop to the face due to Kaito's excellent dodging and timing, it was actually somewhat worth it after a while just seeing that stupid, grin on his face after. If he could go back, he'd relive those mornings a couple times and just maybe actually prank Kaito back. 

The next couple of pages were filled with photos across the years, and Saguru did notice himself slowly open up throughout them, which brought him to his most embarrassing regret. When the person you had been pining, for years at that point, noticeably had a crush on someone else, one would definitely falter when attempting to ask. It was only after Kaito had said yes did he learn that said crush was wrapped up the year they met when Aoko turned him down. It was embarrassing for multiple reasons of course. His confession was more like a long ramble about how he knew Kaito couldn't accept his feelings and how he understands and wishes the best for them and of course the other embarrassing fact was that he waited years for seemingly no reason. Actually, how the hell did he get a picture of his confession. No wait, this angle meant that Aoko took it,  _ oh god she was there? _ Saguru thought Kaito had told her afterwards what happened. 

Saguru soon noticed how much more often the pictures centered around himself as he flipped, secret photos and known ones alike mostly had him in them, with hearts and more childish insults on the side. Eventually he got to a photo he actually had a copy of, the page was full of red and pink hearts, more so than the previous pages. He also noticed drawings of chocolate with a title at the top of the page. It read 'Our First Valentine's Disaster'. That would be an accurate way to describe it. Their first Valentine's Day was spent in the hospital due to Kaito lacking the ability to be careful near his most unlucky day. They had planned a nice dinner date and everything but no, they spent the entire day in the hospital. Eventually however it became a pattern, the Valentine date in a hospital but still pained him he never got to do a traditional Valentine's Day date. 

At this point, he forgot about actually cleaning the room, just idly flipping through this scrapbook of happy memories, maybe it was just because Kaito was gone it felt more like a book of small regrets. Thoughts popped into his head about how wished he did things differently, and that he thought he would have done differently if he had none what little time they had. Another small regret the scrapbook reminded him of was on Halloween, he could tell by all the little doodles on the sides of pumpkins and bats. While they certainly didn't really celebrate it properly, Kaito tried to pull scarier pranks. His favorite type of halloween prank were elaborately planned jumpscares, and while a good number of them did him pale so much it made his name look off color, afterwards he would have the biggest grin. Kaito never seemed happy about this, but Saguru couldn't help himself. Its Kaito's fault for having that stupid grin everytime he gets a scare. Honestly, he wished he treasured Kaito's smiles more, he wished he made him smile more, until the magician's face bursted with how happy he was. Saguru had wanted to give Kaito smiles for three whole lifetimes. 

The next photo that caught his eye was a winter one. During the colder months, he kept doing his street magician antics. He loved going to parks for children to perform shows and he only made them more elaborate near holidays to increase wonder. This meant he also never dressed properly because bulky clothes hindered his movements too much. Saguru had regrettably put blind trust in him that he did dress warmly at his little outside shows until he decided to go to one and realized his so called warmth came from him stuffing heating packets in his coat. It was a mystery how he either never caught a cold or hid it sparingly well from his stupidity. After that incident, they held the shows at their house but he had a sneaking suspicion he still did a couple outside in that cold weather, the lunatic. 

Even though he was thinking of his small little regrets, a smile was definitely on his face. So many memories hidden away from him for so long. Honestly he was somewhat excited as he flipped to the next page but his breath hitched when he saw it. It was blank. The next page was blank. And the next. Saguru began to frantically flip through them, not wanting to face his biggest regret, he wanted to stay in the little cozy world he was in previously.

"Saguru?" Aoko peeked into the room, "you haven't even cleaned anything out in...oh." 

"He never got to finish this..." 

"I had...forgotten about that, he wanted to surprise you when it was finished." Aoko walked over, placing her hand on his gentle and giving out a soft squeeze. The small comfort was...appreciated. 

"He could of, if i just..." 

"If you what?" 

"You know that I could have prevented this!" He slammed the book shut, dust flying. There was a moment of silence. 

"No, you couldn't. You can't keep blaming yourself! I thought..I thought that was why we were finally doing this" Aoko gestured towards the dusty room, her hand lightly shaking "Saguru, didn't you suggest this because you no longer blamed yourself?" 

"Maybe I just wanted to be rid of the guilt." 

Aoko let out a sigh, "You can't keep doing this to yourself, you'll drive yourself mad. Kaito's murderer was caught justice was served!" 

"Was it, because I was the one who handed off the case when I could have solved it faster!" 

"You don't know that for sure, we can never know that for sure..Saguru just stop blaming yourself." Aoko placed on her hand on the book "stop living in your regrets already." 

His eyes softened as he looked at the scrapbook, tears welling up in his eyes. It was no question, Aoko was right but letting this go was harder than he imagined, his eyebrows knitted with a bit of frustration. 

"Ladies and Gentleman!" Akako came into the room, wearing a white tophat and monocle "Look who found the Kid Cave…Oh, did I interrupt something?" 

"You know, your timing may actually be right Akako, how about we go down to the Kid Cave." Saguru wiped his tears, letting out a shakey chuckle at Akako's comedic entrance. 

Aoko gave a soft nod, her hand slipping off the book. "I never could understand why he never just admitted his identity, we all knew by senior year." 

"We'll never quite understand how he works, huh" Saguru gave a small smile. 

"You can say that again."

Aoko gave a chuckle as she walked out the room, heading down the hall with Akako. 

He placed the book back down gently and followed them, closing the door carefully; "Merry Christmas Kaito." 


End file.
